Optics
by bratchick
Summary: How truthful are the 1000 words a picture is worth.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Scandal. All belong to the great Shonda Rhimes.

A/N: Spoilers for 1.06 – The Trail

When Fitz was five years old his father, Big Jerry, hosted a fundraiser for Richard Nixon in their California home. His mother gave specific instructions to his nanny that his best little blue suit, red tie, and white shirt were to be worn that night. He looked like the first child of America in the picture his Dad used to pull out at every dinner party. Little Fitz on the shoulders of Nixon smiling big and bright. His Dad told him it was perfect optics for a future President of the United States to have a picture with the current President. After the 1974 resignation the picture went into a black hole somewhere never to be seen again. Not good optics to be associated with a disgrace.

Prom season was stressful to seventeen year old Fitz. Plenty of girls from his prep school wanted him to ask them to the big event, but he was tired of the mean girl snobbiness he'd been around his whole life. He wanted something different. He was trying to work up the nerve to ask Cindy Wallace to his senior prom. She was the maid's daughter. Martha used to bring her to work on the weekends. She had beautiful red hair and a sweet smile. Her dream was to become a doctor and join Doctors Without Borders. Her good heart matched her smile. He asked his father for advice on asking her out. Big Jerry merely shook his head at his overly idealistic son and explained to him that Grants didn't date the help. It wouldn't look good. He winked slyly at his son as he told him that he could do want he wanted in the dark, but in public he had to represent the family properly. He arranged for Fitz to go to the prom with Senator Nelson's daughter. She had blond hair and hardly smiled. His Dad told him that prom picture helped him get the Senator's endorsement when Big Jerry ran for governor of California.

Fitz was introduced to Mellie Hollingsworth the week he returned home after completing his studies at Oxford. The Hollingsworths and the Grants went way back. And the Hollingsworths went even further back with the Carnegies and the Rockefellers. Old money at its finest is what Big Jerry told Fitz when he was ordering his son to ask Mellie out on a date. Fitz didn't mind taking her out. She was a beautiful woman. The first date started off awkward, but when Mellie made a sarcastic crack about the girlfriend of a mutual acquaintance he couldn't help doubling over in laughter. Throughout the first few months of dating she often made him laugh with her biting wit. He began to think he could have a comfortable life with her. He knew that was his father's end game, and Fitz was never one to disappoint Big Jerry. Two years later their wedding was the event of year. The guest list wouldn't look out of place at the Republican National Convention. When the pictures appeared in Santa Barbara's society pages Big Jerry made sure there were a few quotes from the political elite rhapsodizing on the political future of Fitzgerald Grant III.

Mellie was pregnant with Little Jerry when Fitz filmed his first political commercial for Governor of California. Karen was three years old and wouldn't keep still as they tried to film the family sitting under a tree at his Santa Barbara Ranch. His campaign manager told him it was good optics to have the family enjoying the great outdoors. People want to vote for a family man. The seventh time Karen took off running towards the stables Mellie screamed she couldn't take this anymore. This is not what she gave up her law career for. By this time her biting wit was no longer amusing because she often turned it on him. His campaign manager finally convinced Mellie to come back outside and after the 23rd take they filmed a scene of a perfect looking family.

That perfect family scene helped Fitz get elected as governor for two terms. He was happy in his political life, but Mellie was growing further away from him. During his second term they didn't even bother with the optics anymore. She did her thing and he did his. No one called him on it until the day after he lost Iowa in the Republican Presidential Primary. Within one minute she told him everything about his marriage he tried to avoid. By the end of her speech he knew he was in trouble. He had long ago surrendered to the fact he was stuck in a loveless marriage. He suffered for the greater good. For the American people. He knew if he became President he could help so many people in the world, and that was more important than if he felt passion for his wife. But then Olivia Pope happened and the whole world could go to hell in a hand basket for all he cared. All he wanted was her. But she taught him play nice with Mellie again, and he knew he had to continue to do what he worked for his whole life.

During the ice cream social he surprised himself by actually having a good time. Jerry and Karen were running around having fun with the other kids. Mellie laughed like she hadn't in years around him. When he kissed her after she wiped the ice cream off of his chin he remembered for a split second the young woman he married that he had much affection and respect for. Then he saw her pose for the cameras and he remembered: optics. Before he could dwell on the coldness of his wife he saw Jerry and Karen run by with a young boy with tightly curled blond hair and caramel skin. He looked like what could happen when beautiful brown skin came in contact with his pale white skin. In those five seconds he indulged in the what-ifs of him and Olivia married with a child of their own living back at the ranch with Jerry and Karen. One big happy family. He looked up and saw beautiful brown eyes staring intently at him. When he met her eyes with a smile she looked down shyly. She fixed a phantom loose curl while whispering something in Cyrus' ear. She hurriedly left the gymnasium. He has a strong urge to go after her. Follow her to the empty campaign bus where he would pull her close and run one finger over her full, plump lips. He would look deep into her eyes before lowering his head and softly brushing his lips against hers. Savoring her taste. He would move them to a seat at the back of the bus and pull her down on his lap as he explored every contour of her lips with his as if they had all of the time in the world.

He took one step towards the exit where she disappeared through, but he stopped himself. Mellie was next to him and there were photographers all around. He couldn't run away from his wife after his beautiful campaign fixer. Not good optics.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - I was just going to make this a one shot, but more ideas kept coming so I wrote another chapter. Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it! Slight spoilers for 2.08 - Happy Birthday, Mr. President.**

After Olivia left for weeks he used to go sit in her old office late at night. He kept it empty for awhile. He told his staff that he wanted to make a thorough search for Liv's replacement. That was just spin. Britta Kagen had taken over all of Liv's duties and was more than qualified. The job was hers. Fitz just wasn't ready to make it official. If Britta moved into Liv's office then it became reality. She was really gone. She really left him. Left him after she promised him they were in this together. He remembered kissing her so many times in this office as she sat in his lap on the small couch. They had the advantage of no cameras in her office, but Olivia was always nervous when he dropped by at midnight. She gave him the same speech each and every time about how her office was right across from the press corps and one of the reporters could be working late and catch him coming and going each night. Once his lips touched hers all the argument left her. Minutes later when they finally came up for air, her chastising continued. He gave her the pouty lip and whispered how he just needed to see his sweet baby. She giggled in the way that was music to his ears, rolled her eyes and called him a dork.

Boxes stacked up against the wall made the small office seem downright claustrophobic. The interns were working with Britta to archive all the documents from the campaign trail. Fitz absently lifted the top of one of the boxes and peeked inside. The box was full of Polaroid pictures from the victory party. Some of the staff were into vintage cameras and went around the party snapping shots. One photo in particular caught his eye. It was of him and Liv shaking hands. Mellie was right behind them joyously talking to Anderson Cooper and on the far right he could see Cyrus popping a bottle of champagne. To most it just looked like a picture of the President-elect being congratulated by a loyal member of his staff. But Fitz knew what was really going on. He remembered how he gripped her hand so tight. He needed to anchor her to him. He had finally achieved what he had been working for his whole like and he didn't know how to feel.

Earlier in the night when it looked like he was losing Ohio everyone around him was in a panic. He thought Cyrus was going to have a heart attack. However, Fitz remained calm because when he looked over at his Livvie crunching numbers from the exit polls he knew losing the presidency wasn't the end of the world. In fact, it could be the beginning of a whole new world for him. A world where he could run away with the love of his life. But it wasn't meant to be. The results for Ohio finally came in and he won thanks to one little county: Defiance. He often chuckled ruefully at the irony of it all. The one thing he was never able to do was defy his father's wishes. And maybe if he'd had a little courage throughout his life and lived for himself he would have met Livvie sooner and they would have had their happily ever after.

But it was all a moot point because on that night he was the next President of the United States. By the way she smoothed hair and refused to meet his eyes he knew Liv was slipping away from him. He could practically see the wheels in her head turning, thinking about how their affair couldn't continue now that he was on his way to the White House. He had to make her see that he couldn't live without her. He couldn't be the great man she thought he was without her. So he sought her out in the crowd and grabbed onto her hand, holding tight. He tried to silently convey how much he loved and needed her. He wanted to grab her waist, pull her close and kiss her until she understood that he would belong to her forever. But of course he couldn't do that: optics.

They didn't get a moment alone until the next morning, and he thought he made her understand what she meant to him, but that obviously wasn't the case. He should have known she would leave him one day. What kind a life was this for a brilliant and beautiful woman like her? A few stolen kisses in her office at midnight was all he could offer her. She could do so much better than him. She deserved so much better than him. He knew he had to realize he was lucky enough to have experienced true love even if it was for a short period of time.

Fitz took one last look at the photo and placed in back into the box. He took a deep breath hoping he could catch a hint of her lingering scent in the office. It was time to move on. He'll tell Britta in the morning that she's the new Director of Communications. He placed a hand of the doorknob and paused. He went back to the box of pictures and slipped the photo of him and Liv into his pocket. His father always told him he had trouble letting go.


	3. Chapter 3

"So you don't think my head looks too big?" Fitz looked intently at front page of the Boston Globe. The first Presidential debate was the next night and the paper had a full page spread comparing and contrasting the candidates.

"No your head looks fine. It always looks like that." Olivia rolled her eyes and continued looking at Nate Silver's blog for the latest polling numbers. She was getting exasperated with him. This was the third time they had this conversation in the last 30 minutes.

"So my head always looks big?"

"No, that's not what I meant. The picture looks normal. Nothing's wrong with it."

"It's not proportioned. Liv, find a ruler and a measuring tape. We'll measure my head and the picture and do the math to see how far off they made the proportions.

"I definitely will not be doing that."

"Come on Livvie. As my campaign fixer this is something you should be looking into. There's research out there that says people don't vote for candidates who are not body proportioned. This could cost me the election."

"What research?"

"Some study out there said that. I think I heard about it at Oxford."

"Okay when you can give me the exact details of this study, and I've had ample time to look it over for its accuracy then I will call the Globe and fix your big head problem."

"I'm starting to think you're not taking me seriously"

"You think?"

"The Globe is a liberal paper. I think they made my head look bigger on purpose. Governor Reston looks normal, but I look like a Macy's Day Parade balloon."

"If you start that liberal media spiel again I swear, Fitz, I will sleep in my own hotel room tonight."

Fitz instantly threw the paper on the ground and smiled sheepishly at Olivia. "Sorry sweet baby. I guess I'm just a little nervous about tomorrow's debate."

Olivia closed her laptop and placed it on the nightstand. "Don't worry. You are fully prepared for anything Reston tries to throw at you tomorrow." Olivia ran her hands through his wavy hair. "And your head is perfect. In the paper and in person."

Fitz smiled at her and laid his head on her shoulder. "Well you are the expert on all things Fitzgerald Grant III. So if you say I'm perfect than I'm perfect."

"That's right, baby." Olivia said while laughing. They snuggled closer to each other on the hotel bed. Olivia continued to run her hands through his hair and it lulled him into a peaceful, happy state. They almost felt like a normal couple, but Olivia didn't want to get too comfortable. She knew Mellie would be arriving tomorrow to attend the debate.

"So what time does Mellie get in tomorrow?" She tried to make her voice sound casual, but Fitz picked up something in her voice that made him straighten up and look her in her eyes.

"Her flight doesn't land until noon. We have all night together."

"Then you'll be back to being America's favorite couple. The picture in the Globe with you, Mellie, and the kids looks really good. It was a nice touch to have Mellie place her hand on your knee. You guys look connected and happy."

"That's because I have an incredible campaign fixer who taught me how to fake it with my wife."

"So you're still faking it?"

"Liv where is this coming from? You know my marriage has been dead for years."

"I know. It's just..."

"Just what?"

"I know you said I underestimated how good of a politician you are, but you guys seem better. And while you're good at a lot of things, Fitz, I don't think acting is up there on the list. So maybe there's some truth behind the facade. If there's a chance your marriage can be saved maybe we shouldn't be doing this."

"Livvie stop. You know how I feel about you and how I feel about Mellie. Don't let one campaign picture make you doubt what we have."

"But what do we have?"

"Love."

"Fitz..."

"No listen. I know this is not traditional. Not ideal. But Livvie you are everything to me. I've been holding my breath waiting for you my whole life and didn't even know it. I never thought it was possible to feel this way. I can finally be myself. I can finally breathe, and it's all because of you."

Olivia looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Did everyone ever tell you that you have a way with words, Governor Grant."

Fitz smirked at her. "A time or two." He started to unbutton her pajama top. "Don't think anymore tonight, baby." He kissed her forehead, then the nose. When he finally made way to her lips all thoughts were gone from her head. The snapshot of the scene would say that these two people were so much in love; they wouldn't begin to know how to live without each other.


End file.
